Friday, June 28, 2013

She's Leavin' on a Jet Plane, or, The Finer Points of Parental Denial

Child number 2 is about to embark on an adventure. In case you are not one of the people I told, over and over again over the past six months, that my daughter is an exchange student, I'm telling you now. It's a short-term thing and she'll stay with the family of her exchange partner for three weeks, then she and her partner will come back here for three weeks. 

Are we nervous? Well, hell, yes. But up until this point I was the queen of denial -- "Sure, we're sending our kid across the ocean to live with people we've never met in a place we've never seen. It's going to be terrific!" This from the same woman who even last night told her she should not walk home alone from her friend's house around the block. In two days we're going to hand this kid her passport, some money, enough stuff to wear for a month (they said pack for a week, but we're overachievers that way), and watch her walk through the security gate at the airport. 

By the way, creepy bad people in the world? Thanks for making it so I can't even walk my kid to the gate. I'm just going to have to stand there pathetically while she takes off and puts on her tough-girl, scuffed leather boots, and hope she picks up everything she put down for the security check. I'll be thinking, "What if she forgets her purse? Her computer? What if she can't find the gate? Or if she can't sleep? What if there's turbulence? Or a drunk? What if the airline pretzels are stale?" 

Ever since we made this decision, I've probably told any person who will listen that my daughter's going to be an exchange student. Part of it is because my daughter is braver and more adventurous than I am, and I am proud of her for having these qualities. Another part of me loves it when those people I tell inevitably say something like "That's Great!" Which helps convince me, the worried mother in me, that it is. 

I am sure we are not the first parents to ever send a child off somewhere new without them. We've already had to do this sort of thing with child number 1, but that was only Baltimore. We can drive to Baltimore. My daughter will be over 4,000 miles away -- we won't be able to hop in the car if she needs us. We have to trust that the people she encounters, and the people she lives with, will be careful with our baby. So here is the list I've made for them (perhaps you've noticed from earlier blogs that I like lists):

1. Take good care of our daughter. You'll be her parents over there.
2. Don't let her have ice cream for breakfast -- even if she tells you we do, which we don't. 
3. Tell her to make her bed, even if she tells you we don't make her, which we do (occasionally). 
4. Hug her if she needs it. We do. 

But here is the list I'm giving her: 


1. Remember we love you, no matter where you are. 
2. Make the bed. No, really. 
3. Don't forget the kisses I'm sending to the moon to bounce off and find you. I'll work on the angle. You do too.
4. Twizzlers, if they are available there, are still not a food group. 
5. Remember we love you.

I would love to hear from you if you've ever had to send a child off on an adventure -- how you coped and how it went. But no scary stories, okay? Remember, I'm still a little in denial...